Why I Hate Housework, Part 1

Lately and fortunately I've been in this mood that hits me occasionally which compels me to clean and organize and sort. I've been told by people who study arcane science in patchouli-scented rooms that this mood is caused by the ascendance of my Virgo moon which is in the unhappy position of having to live day-in day-out with my Aquarius sun. Apparently, every now and then the stars hit the fan and they have to duke it out.

Personally, I think it's my OCD battling my ADD which amounts to pretty much the same thing. I'm not going to state categorically that the OCD isn't caused by the Virgo moon and the ADD isn't caused by the Aquarius sun because who ever knows? That's my Aquarius talking. Virgo thinks the problem is too much goofing around combined with procrastination fortified by outright laziness.

So anyway, here I am in the heart of their battleground at a particularly opportune time, that being the closing of the Mexico house for what looks to be longer than the usual three to four months. Virgo is tackling Aquarius's mess, and she's doing a damn good job of it, if we do say so ourselves.

She's not just "straightening up" this time. Oh no, she's going at it like the demon she is. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Virgo when she arrives on the scene. If she didn't, I long ago would have perished in a landslide of miscellaneous objects saved for just the right project or been suffocated by hangersful of clothes I never wear. That said, I believe Virgo is responsible for the hoards of empty boxes holding empty boxes holding empty yogurt containers, but those come in handy when her organizational frenzy takes over.

Fastidious Virgo has spent an unbelievable number of hours going through the rat's nests Aquarius has generated in her creative binges and attention deficit, obsessively sorting tiny objects into tiny containers, Shop Vac-ing 'til her ears ring, tossing out eight year old Benadryl tabs saved in case of scorpion attack, compulsively filing styling products into silverware trays in the now sparkling undersink cabinet, washing mayonnaise jars to hold paintbrushes, filling big black garbage bags to bursting and loading innumerable boxes destined for entreamigos and Lidia's sprawling family.

Thanks to Virgo, most of the gallery paraphenalia that ended up in the garage is packed away in covered bins with labels. Boxes of prints and posters have found a home on a dust-free shelf in the studio. Half bottles of Windex have been poured together, the empties recycled. Half bags of stale chips have been transported from pantry to disposal. The Campbell's soup is in a neat row, separated from the cereal but snuggled up to the cans of tuna and jalapeño slices in case of a late night craving for tomato soup and grilled tuna sandwiches. Virgo is nitpicky but she has foresight. 

The pantry is almost done and will be once I return from Vallarta tomorrow with some more plastic organizers for the gift wrap. The garage is almost done and will be as soon as I sort through a few more boxes and figure out how to store the stick-and-flower witches we brought home from Guanajuato in September and which are still shedding.

My bathroom is almost done and will be as soon as I decide how many teeny bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner and hand lotion I may need for some apocalyptic eventuality involving personal care. The studio is almost done and will be as soon as I finish finding a logical location for bubble wrap and washing all the paint rags and the yards of beautiful dyed mosquito netting I found in one of the closets in a box I forgot I had.

Which brings me to the problem. You notice I say "almost done"?

I can feel it happening. Aquarius is back and beginning to eclipse Virgo. Aquarius was the one who decided to organize the studio when the pantry was only half done, and to take every last thing out of the bathroom cabinets and drawers when the studio was still in disarray. I'm not sure who decided to wash that beautiful dyed mosquito netting. Aquarius liked the idea of making it smell good and using it for some as-yet unnamed decorating project, but Virgo was the one who insisted upon washing it now and putting the white vinegar in the rinse water to set the dyes even though Aquarius's research showed it wouldn't do one bit of good.

I was just in the laundry room with both of them. Upon opening the washer lid, Aquarius was fascinated by all the rich deep colors all braided together after the spin cycle, but Virgo grabbed her by the ear and made her untangle the damn things which took an ungoddessly long time especially because Virgo made her get a pair of scissors and cut off all the ragged unwoven purple threads that had the other colors wrapped in strangleholds, which made the untangling infinitely more miserable and tedious and boring.

Uh oh, see? That's Aquarius, who then decided that, even though the mosquito netting is in the dryer and is surely retangling itself, even though not a single one of the projects that Virgo began in such a spurt of fussy enthusiasm is actually finished, and even though my flight is a mere eleven days from this moment, why not sit down and write about it?

Welcome to my world.

Comments

[Nancy Nichols]

Look little Missy - you have got to stop telling outrageous stories about me! Even if they are true……….you were telling my story, weren't you?????

[judy Bickel -Gerdes]

I love this! i too have this struggle.Very interesting and funny.

[Peggy baumer]

I'm thinking the housework thing is a do over... Remember like, back in the day .... One couldnt hit the ball. We would all yell 'do over' I think house work is like this. A do over. Or better yet... Do it when ya want. I don't want so ... I'm going to the beach. OCD or ABC. Lol.

[Gretchen Goodliffe]

Absolutely LOVED the Virgo/Aquarius struggle blog... It certainly explains SO much in my own life and I shall never forget the image created by your amazing vocabulary, of the two of them peering into the washing machine filled with gnarled and twisted colours. You have tapped into an explanation of this phenomena of our lives with impeccable explanation!...
Enjoy your time away from your beloved Mexican home. All those colours await your return!
Gretchen

[Toni Hoffman]

I loved that! You crack me up! It sounds like you are happy! Maybe we will see each other again in Mexico in the future!
Best,
Toni

[diedre haines]

I haven't had as good a laugh since the sad and early demise of Ms. Bombeck! Being born under the sign of Virgo, she is ALWAYS there, mucking up my life and making me do things I would really rather not do BUT IF I DON'T, the crazies would take over for sure!!! Thank you!